We arrived at the oncology center a little before 9:00 and no sooner had we sat down, it was time for me to go back through the double doors and into the treatment area. Jess couldn't go back with me and so we hugged, kissed, and I promised to text her updates. Then I followed the nurse through the wardrobe and into chemical Narnia.
On the way, we stopped so that I could have one of the admin staff notarize my advanced directive/living will (filling that thing out was rather sobering). Then we walked back to "treatment area 4" and I had my pick of one of four open cushiony recliners; three on each side, but two were occupied. I wanted to take the one by the window, but it was directly across from a guy with the craziest eyebrows I've seen in a while and I didn't want to be stuck there, staring at his eyebrows.
So, I chose the middle seat (because the other seat was across from an older woman who was already there and I thought it'd be weird if we were like right across from each other, making occasional eye contact...but really, I was just freaked out and didn't really know how to process anything, let alone chemo chair etiquette).
I got settled in, put my bag down next to me. I had a couple of books, a blanket, and some water. I was good to go. The nurse came and got my IV set up and then the premeds started. She explained that they were giving me some pain meds, long-term anti-nausea meds, and some Benadryl. The Benadryl was so the antihistamines would chill my body out so it didn't freak out once the chemotherapy cocktail started. While that was running, the pharmacist was crafting my special chemical concoction - hand made, on site, tailored just to me! She told me that I was free to walk about the cabin, that the captain had turned off the seatbelt sign. All I had to do was unplug the machine (it still ran then, via batteries) and haul my IV stand around me. There were drinks and snacks and I could use the bathroom if needed. Other people were eating snacks and I envied them. I wanted snacks.
After a bit, my premeds were done and the nurse gave me some time to make sure they were adequately moving through my body. Then the first of two chemotherapy treatments began. By this point, someone had taken the chair across from me and so I had a neighbor anyway. But he was pretty immersed in his phone and didn't really look over my way. Eventually, he fell asleep. I was pretty tired myself. The Benadryl made me super drowsy, but I didn't want to sleep. I had reading to do. I didn't want to just nap! But then I couldn't sit still and my leg was super restless and so I unplugged and took myself for a walk. I went back and forth across the treatment center, making a circuit of the area. I did this a few times. I was probably driving everyone crazy. "There goes the walker!" "Why doesn't this guy just nap?"
When it was time for the second chemo treatment (a different chemical), the nurse told me that it might make me get chills, or hot flashes, or lower back, or all back pain. But that it would only be while the medicine was going through and not after I left. Fortunately, none of those things happened, and I treated myself to a cold Coca-Cola from the beverage fridge. That second treatment lasted a half an hour and then the IV came out and I was released. The nurse said I had a great first session (sadly, I did not get a gold star for my refrigerator). Jess was there waiting for me and off we went.
And then we were back, about an hour and a half later. This time, for radiation. There's a lot involved with this process, to include CAT scans merging with PET scans and physics. Science, yo. I had to remove my shirts and lay on the CAT scan table and they fitted some kind of forming mold around my shoulders and arms and sides while I held these posts above my head. They ran me through the machine, taking images, and then completing the mold of my upper body - which will be used to make sure I'm in the exact same position every time. Then, two techs, one on each side, drew marks on my body with Sharpies: two on each side, two on my chest. The "tattoos" followed the Sharpies. They actually use a needle device and ink to permanently put marks on your body where the radiation will be aimed. It's just a black dot, but yeah, it's permanent. Six of them. This ensures exact radiation aim and placement for every single treatment (which will be every day, Monday through Friday, for I'm not sure how many weeks).
It's only one day after chemo, but so far so good. I'm a bit tired, but no major changes or complaints yet. Again, the first week, I'm told, is usually not bad, so I can't fool myself into thinking that it's going to be this easy the whole time. But I also won't allow myself to script a worse case scenario or create symptoms before they manifest. If I start thinking "X" is going to happen, then yeah, X will probably happen. I am prepared for fatigue and aches and such though. Pretty sure that's inevitable, especially when chemo is coupled with daily radiation.
Next week, I'm taking the window seat, if it's available. I can watch the squirrels eat the corn that is put out there for them in special squirrel feeders and probably feel the sun come through the window. Or maybe I'll nap.
- j